If you are the parent of a teen with ADHD or learning differences who is considering boarding school, but you’re reluctant to allow your child to be away from home, you may be in for a surprise. Many parents find that their relationships with their teens not only improve during the time they are at school, but also during the times when they return home.
“Being at boarding high school has definitely reduced some sources of strain in our relationship with our son with ADHD. In junior high at a local public school, we had weekly and daily drama around getting all of the assignments and tasks completed, with us often left in the role of ‘enforcer’ for the school. Now that he is at boarding school, he is better able to keep on top of assignments and gets more support to allow him to flourish academically. We are able to share in celebrating his success and discuss what he is learning - rather than being ‘homework cop’ for the school.”
- Current Leelanau Parent
You know your child best. You’ve been their advocate and their support. You’ve been their alarm clock, their calendar, their tutor, their counselor, their everything. All parents do these things at some point - but for a parent of a teen with ADHD or learning differences, it can also feel like you are the glue that keeps it all together, and without your constant and unrelenting work, everything would fall apart.
You are the glue because you feel you have to be. You love your child and want the very best for them, but always needing to be the glue can take a toll on you and your family.
There are many unique challenges for teens with ADHD or learning differences which bridge the gap between school and home life. Many times these challenges are felt by both the student and their family. Teens who have worked hard to keep it all together during the school day can feel stressed and on edge when they get home. Students often suffer through homework that can go on for hours, needing frequent help and redirection. Parents may feel guilt about not giving their other children the time and attention they feel they deserve. Parents may even feel exhausted and try to avoid confrontation by inadvertently enabling their teens by doing things for them or simply not asking them to do something in the first place.
Even when a parent feels their teen’s school is not the best place for them to thrive, it is hard to image how they would ever be able to let them go. However, boarding schools that offer the right kind of support for students with ADHD or learning differences can do more than improve grades or chances of getting into a great college. They can also improve relationships.
When both a student and their parents feel they are being well supported by a boarding school, many daily pressures are no longer an issue between them. Those things that are now dealt with between the student and their support at school. Parents and teens can then refocus their energy on being a family, knowing that the business of being prepared for school, going to school, learning at school, and enjoying school is handled. Additionally families find that other important life skills, such as a focus on healthy eating, friendships, self-advocacy, and time management are being proactively addressed during their teen’s time with both academic and residential life faculty. Boarding school provides an all-encompassing education and allows families to re-focus on celebrating growth and success in not just academics, but all aspects of their teens life.
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